


Epiphany

by theheartofm



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Murder, Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, FBI Agent, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Murder, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Slow Burn, dad mode aaron hotchner, dad mode david rossi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28735617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartofm/pseuds/theheartofm
Summary: Katherine Heights is the newest addition to the BAU. A 25 year old from Reno, Nevada, she’s one of the youngest the BAU has seen straight out of the Academy. She catches Reid’s eye but the 26 year old genius is too scared to do anything about it until he almost loses her.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. Important Info

Hello! I just wanted to post a quick disclaimer and information about the timing of this story. I haven’t finished the show yet, and when I first started writing this I was watching season 3. As I've watched I've gotten to deeper plot points, so I've moved the timing of this story many times. I’m slowly going through this and making sure the technology and ages of everyone make sense.

For reference:

The story takes place in the fall of 2012, in between early season 8 and the beginning of season 9, keeping the cast from season 7. This is important because of the appearance of Emily, as this is in a post-Doyle and fake death world. Ages have been changed just a bit because I like having the younger cast. Also, I’ve gotten all the birthdays from google, so sorry if they conflict with whatever you’ve seen.

I changed the timeline for this multiple times, meaning some elements may seem confusing. In this timeline, Will and JJ didn't immediately get together right after he appeared for the first time, and she didn't get pregnant until a while after she does in the show's timeline.

David Rossi: b. 05/09/56 making him 53

Emily Prentiss: b. 10/12/70 making her 38

Derek Morgan: b. 06/6/73 making him 36

Spencer Reid: b.10/28/1981 making him 27

Jennifer Jureau: b. 09/19/1978 making her 31 (made up by me, no info of a birthday on her wiki.)

Aaron Hotchner: b. 11/02/1971 making him 37

Penelope Garcia: b. 03/17/1977 making her 32 (year listed on wiki, but month and day weren’t.)

I couldn’t find a date for Haley’s death, but because I’m partially basing the timing of this around the same time of the episodes were aired, her death would be in November of 2009. So, currently, she is alive but they are separated.

If you have any questions, please leave them below! Thanks so much for reading!

-Madison


	2. Watch You Breathe In

The team was in Reno, Nevada for a case for another serial killer case; this one targeting girls 23-27 with long, brown hair. That fit Katherine Heights, the newest member of the BAU, to a tee.

The team sat in a cold high school gym, throwing around ideas. The local police department was a mess, and Spencer recommended moving the team elsewhere so he could focus better. They weren’t expecting an almost freezing, echoing school gym, but it proved better than the chaotic stations they were trying to work in before. Emily had stayed at the station, being the liaison for the team and the police officers.

“So, a white male in his early to late 30’s,” Spencer began, quickly cut off by the opening of the gym door. The team’s heads whipped around, Hotch’s hand slowly going to the gun on his waist. A badge was shown, identifying the man as some type of officer, and the door clicked shut behind him.

“So, more than half of Nevada is a suspect?” the man said, his eyes flashing to Katherine and staying there. He slipped his badge away as quick as it came out, and a quick emotion of distrust flashed through her. No one would show their badge and then put it away before it could be identified. Recognition showed quickly on his face and he smiled. “Katherine Heights?” he asked, stepping closer.

Katherine squinted, her contacts too dry and the gym too dark to make out a face from the distance between the two. “Yes?” she asked, standing up to looking to the male.

“Michael Monroe, we went to high school together!” the male said, walking faster to her. Despite the happiness in her voice, Katherine felt a wave of dread wash over her. The man, Michael Monroe, was the known asshole from her high school. No one was ever good enough for him, and he had an affinity for having a new girlfriend every week. However, somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if he had changed.

“Oh, Michael, hello,” she said, smiling lightly. He didn’t take his eyes off of her, and she noted how they traveled all over her.

“FBI, huh? Can I see your badge, I almost don’t believe it!” A smile filled his face, but mock entered his eyes. Katherine noted that the man hadn’t changed much if at all and turned around to ask JJ to bring her credentials over. Instead of JJ, she locked eyes with Hotch, who had her credentials in his hand and a stone-cold look on Michael. He made his way over slowly, handing Katherine her gun and credentials that were abandoned on the gym floor they were sitting on. “Come to dinner with me.”

Katherine turned around quickly, looking at the man in front of her. White, but the same age as her. She noticed the man blinked a lot as Hotch walked closer, his eyes darting from her to the man next to her. She turned to look at her boss, who glanced back at her and nodded slowly. He understood that the man was suspicious, and possibly even the killer they’d been looking for. Michael was uncomfortable and she felt she knew why.

He had asked where she was, not knowing he would walk in to the whole team. He played it off cool, but she could see the anxious movements in his fingers as he ached to pull her away from the team. Something was wrong with him, but she had a gun and the training he didn’t. She thought she could overpower him easily as she agreed to dinner and told the team she’d be back soon.

She knew as soon as she walked out of the door with him that she had made the single biggest mistake of her life.

A firm hand wrapped around her upper arm, and she immediately hated Hotch for allowing her to go. He pushed her through the side door of the hallway they stood in, it being the quickest exit he had. “You scream, I’ll kill you and your entire team in there,” he said, grabbing her gun from her waist. Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled out a knife, quickly slashing a mark down her wrist. She looked up at him, shock on her face, and he laughed. “You’re better off weak, I won’t have to worry about a fight,” he explained, pushing her into the backseat of his car.

“I’ll get blood all over your seats,” she said, looking at the mess of red spreading on her pants. He just laughed; a cold, dark tone that seeped into her chest. She knew then that he didn’t care about his car, because other girls had been bleeding out in the back before her. Anger flashed through her, and she quickly decided she wasn’t going down without a fight.

“One cut on my arm isn’t enough to make me weak,” she hissed, looking at him with anger written all over her face. She hoped it would make him turn around, giving her the opportunity to kick him. She knew she made a mistake when he leaned over the center console and plunged the same knife into her stomach in a motion so fast, she didn’t know what had happened until the knife was being pulled back out.

She didn’t scream, but a startled choking noise leapt from her throat as he took the knife out. She looked past him as someone exited the doors of the hallway they’d just left, the drops of blood on the floor giving away what Michael had done. Morgan barely had time to react before Michael started the car and took off.

Katherine had begun to let out short gasps, her lungs trying to draw in as much as they could. Michael looked back at her in disgust and turned his radio up, blaring some 70s song she was too tired to identify.

Her phone vibrated in her jacket pocket and she looked down at it, reaching her bleeding arm to get it. She was shaking and almost dropped the phone as it became soaked in blood. She flipped it open, automatically answering the call from Spencer. She dropped the phone in between her legs and looked back up to Michael.

“I’m bleeding,” she said, hoping Spencer would hear. Michael laughed sardonically and smiled in the rear-view mirror. Her head lolled backwards as the earpiece still in her ear buzzed. She thought she could hear a panicked shout through the piece, but it was covered by the faint ringing in her ears. Her eyes grew heavy and slipped shut.

“Kit, I need you to tell me what kind of car. What kind of car are you in?” A male’s voice rang in her head and the word _grey_ left her mouth in a choked whisper. She wasn’t sure if the mic had picked up what she was saying over the music or the material of her FBI jacket.

“What did he do?” the same voice asked. She noted the voice was gruff, but she couldn’t think of who it was.

“Dad?” she whispered, her eyes slipping closed. She heard shuffling just barely over the ringing in her ears.

“Open your eyes!” Michael shouted from the front seat, and she peeled her eyes open slowly to look at the angry man in the front seat. She saw the Interstate 80 sign and closed her eyes again.

“80. We’re on 80,” she slurred, her whole body slumping forward and the world around her going black.

She woke up moments how long later to someone shouting in her earpiece and Michael continuing to drive. Her phone was vibrating against her leg and she looked down to see “Spence” written on her screen.

“Spencer,” she muttered, still lurched forward curled in on herself. No sound came out of the earpiece for what felt like an eternity, and she realized she had lost connection. She undid her earpiece from the device it was originally and shakily plugged it into her phone’s mic jack and hitting the answer button.

“Spence,” she whispered again, moving to lean against the window.

“Kit!” she heard Spencer yell from the other end. A low moan came from her mouth and Michael whipped around to yell a quick _shut up_ at her. She straightened, feeling the wound on her stomach protest at her movements and did her best to tuck her phone into somewhere he wouldn’t see.

“Cold, stabbed,” she whispered, shock setting in. She allowed her eyes to close once more before letting herself slip off into nowhere.


	3. Make Some Sense of What You've Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gears up to track down one of their own despite being told not to. JJ continues to hide two big secrets from the team. Garcia feels alone back at Quantico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> First, I want to apologize for the weird layout of the chapters. The 'first" chapter is actually just me rambling, leading the real first chapter to say "Chapter 2: Chapter 1". Don't worry, soon the chapter names will be real names once I figure it all out. 
> 
> I wrote a good third of this story in one sitting, with no breaks for chapters, so right now its a bit of a mess in my own mind trying to decide where I split things up.
> 
> Also, this came out early, I know. I felt bad about the first chapter being so short. Enjoy! And please leave reviews down below, I adore reading them!

The team knew something was wrong the second they heard shoes squeak in the hallway and Kit’s heels click harder on the flooring. Morgan grabbed his gun and was the first out of the gym doors, seeing the blood drop on the floor and Kit being shoved into the back of a car. He observed some shuffling and saw the knife in Michael’s hands before darting out of the hallway door. Hotch followed quickly behind him, firing at the vehicle’s tires when it sped away.

“Fuck!” Morgan yelled, quickly pulling out his phone and speed dialing Garcia.

“Hello my chocolate th- “

“Garcia! Kit’s been kidnapped and at the very least is bleeding. I need you to get everything you can on Michael Monroe,” Morgan said. A gasp was heard on the other side of the line, followed by rapid keyboard strokes.

Spencer came out of the door next, his eyes wide. He pulled out his phone and dialed Kit’s number, not thinking of the repercussions that it could cause. A few moments later he clicked on speaker phone as the call was answered. “I’m bleeding.”

The team froze for a moment before Hotch recalled her earpiece was still in. He ran inside to grab his and shoved it into his ear, speaking quickly into the microphone on his wrist.

“Kit, I need you to tell me what kind of car. What kind of car are you in?” Hotch yelled, walking quickly back out to the team. JJ and Rossi followed suit, putting their earpieces in. Morgan leaned into Spencer’s phone, the two men listening closely for her answer.

The team members with earpieces in nodded as she answered, and Spencer and Morgan looked to them for an answer. “Grey,” JJ answered, tears forming in her eyes.

“Garcia, she says she’s in a grey car. It’s a Hyundai-Sonata,” Morgan relayed as he rushed in to grab his and Spencer’s earpieces and walkie talkies. Spencer quickly pushed his in his ear and ended the call, hoping to keep her inconspicuous to Michael.

“What did he do?” Hotch asked, looking at Rossi.

“Dad?” came the choked reply and some shuffling. JJ turned around and ripped her earpiece out, letting a loud sob slip from her mouth. Her knees gave out and she felt herself being lowered to the concrete. Morgan sat on the ground next to her, waiting on Garcia to give them something.

Hotch’s eyes filled with tears and he didn’t even bother trying to hide them. Kit was bleeding out in the back of a car going god knows where and had just called him _dad._

Spencer’s heart pounded in his chest as a furious Michael yelled at her to open her eyes. She was losing consciousness, indicating she was bleeding out faster than the few drops they’d found on the floor.

Spencer turned off his mic, keeping the earpiece on as he turned to the team, “Guys, when someone loses close to 30 and 40 percent of their total blood volume, traumatic reactions occur. Disorientation and confusion. She’s bleeding out quickly.”

The line crackled a little bit as her mic rubbed against the fabric of her jacket. “80. we’re on 80.”

Rossi stepped to the side and pulled out his phone. “We need an APB out on a male in his late 20’s driving a grey Hyundai-Sonata. He’s approximately 6 feet tall, brown hair. He has a federal agent with him, Katherine Heights 5’6” and 126 pounds. She’s wounded,” he said, hanging up the phone abruptly.

“Kit talk to me. Say something, anything,” Rossi said into his mic. They waited, but no sound came through her end. Spencer dialed her number again, and the team froze as they heard shuffling on the other end. No one talked, not willing to give Michael any indication it was them.

“Spence,” a small voice whispered, and Spencer yelled her name in return. The line was silent again for a few moments before a moan exited Kit’s mouth. Hotch closed his eyes and turned away from the rest of them, walking a few steps down the sidewalk. He heard sirens in the distance, knowing the APB was out and someone would be coming to ask them questions. He heard Michael in the background yelling at her to shut up before he heard her voice again.

“Cold, stabbed.”

Then they heard nothing.

“Michael Monroe,” came Garcia’s broken voice. Hotch rushed back over to Morgan, ignoring the tears running down his face. “Has quite a record. Arrested and charged 5 times with rape, breaking and entering, and endangerment. All rape charges were dropped, the breaking and entering landed him in prison for a whopping 3 days, and the endangerment charge was settled for $1.2 million dollars. Money came from a Mr. Jefferson Monroe”

“So, daddy’s money got him out of that. Where’s daddy now?” Morgan asked, staring at the spot where Michael’s car sat 10 minutes ago.

“Dead. He died on April 24th of this year, a week before the first murder,” Garcia answered, leaning back in her chair. She clicked a button on her phone with her finger ending the call as she pulled the trashcan from under her table and retched.

Stephen Jones was off duty when the APB rang over his car’s radio. Initially he was going to ignore it. The city had plenty of other police on duty right now in addition to the FBI Agents in town to help with a serial killing case. The second the APB announced a federal agent was kidnapped; he knew immediately going to bed was not in his schedule. He responded to the call and quickly pulled out of the gas station parking lot, looking down at the coffee he had just gotten.

“The Nevada Highway Patrol and the closest California State Police Stations were notified of the APB as well,” Rossi said, coming up behind Hotch who stood in the gym.

“I knew something was off and I still let her go.” Hotch said, not turning around to look at Rossi. Rossi stood staring at the man in front of him before walking around to the front of him.

“You couldn’t have known, Aaron. She had a gun and the training to overpower him, I would have trusted her to go too.” he said, putting his hand on Hotch’s shoulder.

“She called me dad, David.” Hotch said, looking up at the man in front of him. Confusion spread across Rossi’s face.

“She’s in shock and injured, she didn’t recognize your voice. She could have easily thought your voice was her dad’s.” He said, shaking his head. The door to the gym closed and the men glanced at Spencer.

“Hotch, they want to talk to you now,” Spencer said. Hotch nodded once and walked quickly out of the gym. “Her dad died before she was born,” Spencer said, looking at Rossi. “She’s never called anyone dad.”

Rossi’s heart sank.

Garcia stood in the bathroom down the hall from her office, splashing her face with water. She felt sick with anxiety and jumped when her personal phone buzzed in her pocket.

“Garcia, I’ve been trying to call you for 10 minutes. We’ve been told to sit this one out, can you believe that” Morgan’s angry voice came through the other end. Garcia closed her eyes and leaned heavily against the wall next to her. “Our team member is missing, we know her the best, and they want us to sit back and wait.”

“I hate protocol,” she sighed, sliding her back down the wall and sitting on the floor. “I hate that man. I hate this god damn job,” she said, looking up at the ceiling. She knew she didn’t truly hate the job, but the team had quickly become her family and she had no clue what one of them dying would do to her.

Over two hours after she had gone missing, the team was sitting back in the gym of the high school. They couldn’t bring themselves to leave, too scared he would come back with Kit and no one from the team would be there for her. JJ found Hotch sitting in the men’s locker room, his head in his hands. She sat down next to him heavily and put her legs out straight in front of her. The team followed in a few moments later when JJ hadn’t returned. Emily, having returned from the police station, looked around at the team members surrounding her.

“She’s going to come out of this alright,” Emily said, sitting on the other side of Hotch. JJ felt her stomach twist angrily, and she took a shaky breath. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the locker.

“Jayje?” Spencer asked, reaching over to put his hand on her shoulder. The blonde shook her head and her hand quickly snapped over her mouth. Spencer ran to the small trashcan on the other side of the room but was too late. JJ leaned forward and threw up her measly dinner of fried chicken and mashed potatoes on the floor.

Morgan jumped backwards and turned away from the scene unfolding in front of him as Spencer froze in place. Hotch launched into action, his fatherly instincts kicking in. He grabbed JJ’s hair quickly and rubbed her back as she continued retching.

“Morgan, go get a water bottle,” he commanded, and Morgan was thankful for the excuse to run out of the room. Emily hopped up to get some paper towels and Spencer unfroze in enough time to get the trashcan under JJ before she threw up again. Rossi sat next to JJ and grabbed her hand, which she squeezed hard as she retched again.

Morgan returned moments later with the water. He walked in to see her leaning back against the lockers, the trashcan and mess of vomit cleaned up and removed from sight. He handed the water to Hotch, who quickly twisted off the cap and handed it to JJ. She took a sip before opening her eyes and looking at Emily who was crouched in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. She squeezed Rossi’s hand again and began to cry.

“Jennifer, it’s okay. It’s been a rough evening,” Hotch answered, his hand returning to rub her back as she leaned forward, her hands covering her face. Emily scooted over closer to her and pulled her into a hug. Hotch’s phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out and answered it.

His face paled and his hand froze on JJ’s back. The phone nearly fell out of his hand and he looked at Rossi. “They found her, Northern Nevada Medical Hospital. JJ, are you okay to come?”

JJ was standing by the time he asked and nodded quickly. She knew that the cause of her vomiting wasn’t because of the events of this evening, so she knew she would be fine to ride in a car.

Emily reached over and picked Hotch’s phone up and went to stand beside a still shaking JJ.

“That’s 10 minutes away, let’s go,” Spencer answered, running out to the gym and grabbing his messenger bag as the team rushed out to their cars.


	4. Just One Single Glimpse of Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long and fast paced, and I apologize for how weird that seems right now. In future chapter's, everything that happened with Michael will be clearer, but for now you'll have to be as confused and left in the dark as the team is. 
> 
> A lot happens in this chapter; JJ has good news and Hotch fears he's responsible for Kit in more ways than just her going missing under his watch. Close to the end the team realizes Michael was there and had given Kit a possibly fatal dose of Dilaudid when coupled with another nurse's dosage and the team is left wondering what will happen with one of their own. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you for the kudos thus far!

The team arrived at the same time Kit did, and they stood frozen as they watched her being rolled past them. Doctors were yelling things no one caught, not even Spencer. Everything seemed like slow motion before she disappeared from their site again tonight, this time behind big double doors in the hands of medical professionals. Hotch turned to Rossi.

“I want Garcia on the next flight out here, she’ll go crazy if she’s not here. I also want more federal agents flown out here to help with security. They didn’t catch Michael, and I will not allow anyone to get within ten feet of her until we do,” he commanded, turning around as a doctor paused in front of the group.

“I’m Doctor Huntington. I don’t know much right now aside from multiple stab wounds and a singular gunshot wound. She’s lost a lot off her blood volume, and there’s no way for me to say if she’ll make it or not at this moment. They’re taking her to the OR now,” The doctor nodded once and then turned back the way Kit had come.

“Hello, I’m Nurse Amanda,” a nurse took the place of the doctor and reached her and out to shake Hotch’s. “If you follow me, I’ll lead you to a private room.” She smiled and Hotch nodded, gesturing for her to lead the way.

Everyone took a seat around the table in the center of the room and sat silently. Each one of them new the gravity of the situation. A phone ringing snapped all of them out of their trance.

JJ dug through her pocket and pulled out her phone, recognizing the number as Will’s. She stood from the table and walked into the small kitchen space in the conference room, answering the call.

“Hey,” she whispered, eager to hear his voice.

“I heard about Kit. I’m in the car, I’ll be at the hospital in 30 minutes. Don’t you even argue with me, the team has to find out at some point,” he said, and JJ sighed. She knew he was right, but she was worried that bringing him in now would make her look bad.

“Okay, text me when you’re here and I’ll meet you in the ER’s lobby,” she said, quickly ending the call. Will had come out to Reno when he learned they were dealing with a serial killer, not wanting to be four hours away if something went wrong. He’d been staying in her hotel room and was anxious when the news broadcast talked about a missing federal agent. He was only able to breathe a little bit better when the broadcast identified her as Katherine Heights, JJ’s best friend on the team.

She turned and walked back into the conference room to see Rossi missing, presumably in another room fulfilling Hotch’s request from the waiting room. She sat back in her chair and looked around the table.

Hotch was sitting in the chair at the head of the table staring at his lap. He sat tall, but was fidgeting with his hands on the tabletop.

Morgan was leaning back in his chair, his back vertical and his legs sprawled out in front of him. His eyes were closed, but JJ knew that wasn’t because he was calm.

Emily’s actions mirrored Hotch’s, but she was slouched considerably, as if the weight of what happened was setting on her shoulders.

A buzz in JJ’s pocket startled her, and she pulled out the phone that glimmered with a text from Will. “I’ll be right back,” she said, standing up and exiting the conference room. After a short walk, she was back by the main desk of the ER. She spotted Will standing against a wall and waved him over. She embraced him as they met, and he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

“We have a private conference room, come on,” she said, grabbing his hand and turning towards the hallway. She was nervous, she definitely didn’t want the team to be angry with her for bringing someone new in so randomly. She opened the door and stepped inside, dropping Will’s hand before the team could see.

“Guys this is William LaMontagne. You met him first in New Orleans, um,” JJ paused as everyone looked around confused. Her heart thudded in her chest until Will began speaking.

“I was in the area on vacation and heard the APB over my police scanners. When the news said it was a member of the BAU I contacted Jennifer and wanted to know if there was anything I could do. I don’t have jurisdiction here, but I am happy to help with whatever I can,” he explained. He couldn’t ask JJ to divulge everything to the team right now, but he knew it would have to be soon.

The room was silent for a moment before Morgan laughed. “You are awful at lying, Jayje. We’ve been betting for months about you and Will. It looks like I owe Kit,” he said, his smile fading. Silence overtook the room again before JJ sighed and sat back down. Morgan stood up, gesturing Will to the seat closest to JJ and moved one down the table.

“I’m also pregnant,” JJ said in one quick breath. Her eyes met Will’s and much to her excitement he smiled. Spencer looked up at JJ with a look of shock on his face, and a smile broke out. He hopped up from his chair and hugged JJ, Emily following close behind him. “I figured we could use some good news.”

“Congratulations, Jennifer. When we’re back at the BAU we can discuss what it means for you,” Hotch said, smiling lightly at the younger woman. He was happy for her and Will and appreciated the good news at a time like this. Morgan yawned, making him glance down at his watch.

“If you all want to go back to the hotel, I can give you the keys to my SUV. I’ll be here, I’m the only person they would tell details to,” Hotch explained, fishing his keys out of his suit pocket. Sitting diagonally from him, Morgan shook his head.

“No, I’m not leaving. I can’t let her out of my sight again,” he said, looking at the table with a look of disgust on his face. He couldn’t get the image of the knife as Michael turned around out of his head.

“I’m staying too,” Emily said, staying in her chair. She felt guilty she wasn’t there when Kit was taken, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t there when Kit came out of surgery.

When it was all said and done, none of the members of the BAU decided to leave. A newly revealed JJ was given the couch in the conference room after much debate between her and the others. Hotch got the recliner on one end of the couch, and Rossi got the other. Morgan leaned back in the desk chair, quickly falling asleep. Emily and Spencer did the same, Spencer eventually leaning forward to burry his face in his folded arms on the tabletop.

————————————————

The radio silence on her end pained her more than being shot, Garcia eventually decided after no one had sent anymore updates her way. It was nearly 2 in the morning and she wasn’t intending on going home any time soon. She had completely forgot about her prior engagement with Kevin and was startled from her half-dozing state when her phone rang.

“Hello?!” she asked, panicked and hopeful it was news about her fallen friend.

“Garcia? You stood me up,” Kevin said, hurt flashing in his voice. He was supposed to have dinner at Garcia’s, followed by time spent specifically with her afterwards. He mistakenly read the panic in her voice as if she was being caught, and anger coursed through him. “You know what, I don’t care. We’re done.”

The line clicked silent and Garcia sat shocked at her desk, the phone still pressed to her ear. Her mouth was agape, and a shocked noise left her throat. What on earth was she going to do now?

————————————————

A knock on the door woke Aaron Hotchner from his less than restful slumber. At first, he thought maybe he was Jack waking him up after being sick, but when he smelled the familiar disinfectant of a hospital, he remembered what had happened. The door creaked open, and a doctor stood in its place. Aaron jumped up quickly, trying not to stir anyone else sleeping in the room. In just a few quick paces he reached the doctor and gestured to talk in the hallway.

“I’m Dr. Huntington, we met earlier before we took Ms. Heights into surgery,” the doctor started, and Aaron nodded. “The surgery was successful. A single bullet went through her chest and ripped through her lung, causing it to collapse. It lodged in a rib but missed her spine completely. It did break some ribs on the way in, but we’ve patched those up too. She had a deep laceration on her right wrist, and we’ve closed that with stitches. She had a singular stab wound that thankfully missed everything important. There was a small complication during surgery though, and she lost about half of her blood volume due to the bullet being close to a major artery. She’ll be getting some transfusions and is being taken to the ICU as we speak. I think she’ll make a full recovery, and you’ll be able to see her in the morning.”

Hotch nodded slowly, taking in all of the information. Kit was and would remain alright. He thanked the doctor who began to walk away as he fished out his phone. He knew Garcia would be itching for new information.

“Sir?” her tired voice answered, void of all jokes she’d usually throw at her boss.

“She’s okay, she’ll be okay. We should have you out here by morning, and you’ll be able to see her. Get some rest on the plane, god knows you need it,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep. He could almost hear the smile in Garcia’s voice as she thanked him and hung up the phone.

Hotch snuck back in the room, thanking anyone he could that no one had woken up. He was too tired to relay the information to anyone. Just as he was about to slip back into sleep, something the doctor said stuck out to him. A singular gunshot wound, straight through but just as deadly, had hit her. Hotch remembered firing frantically at the vehicle’s tires as Michael Monroe pulled out of the parking lot. His stomach lurched as he sat up quickly, wondering if he was the one who caused the wound. For the rest of the night, he would stay up and stare at the wall, the anxiety heavy in his chest.

————————————————

The first thing Kit was aware of was the intense pain _everywhere._ She couldn’t figure out what was hurting specifically or why, but she knew everything hurt. A faint beeping assaulted her ears and she moaned lightly.

“Kit?” a voice asked beside her. She moaned in return, her eyes to heavy to open. “Kit squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” the voice demanded. She felt too weak to be able to, but her fingers twitched lightly. A thumb rubbed the back of her hand and she heard a muffled voice, and then let herself succumb to sleep.

She woke up again, this time peeling her eyes open. The bright light of the room hurt her eyes and she moaned as she shut them. Someone quickly grabbed her hand and began rubbing the back of it like earlier. “Hey, honey, open your eyes again,” the voice said. She parted her lips but couldn’t make any words come out. Behind her eyelids she noticed the lights being turned off and heard something like curtains being pulled shut. The beeping annoyed her, but she knew she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Kit? Squeeze my hand,” the voice asked, gentler than last time. She did, very lightly, and she felt the person holding it squeeze back. She groaned and from her mouth came the word _pain._

“Spencer, get a doctor,” someone else said. Kit heard shuffling and the door opening, and then nothing else.

Hours later her eyes opened much easier despite still feeling like they weighed a million pounds. The hospital was quiet, and the room was darker. Her head turned to the chair beside her, and she quickly recognized the man sleeping in it. “Hotch,” she whispered, her voice breaking. She turned her head the other way and noticed other members of the BAU sleeping in whatever they could find.

She turned her head again, this time eliciting pain from her body. “Hotch,” she said again, this time a bit louder. The man still didn’t move, and she closed her eyes sadly. She didn’t want to be alone right now, not when she was this confused.

“Spencer?” she asked, opening her eyes and looking back towards the other side of the room. He was further away than Hotch was, but the closest on that side. He stirred and his eyes opened and quickly widened as he noticed who was calling his name. He jumped up from his seat, the chair making a loud noise and waking up some other members of the team.

“Kit oh my god,” Spencer said, rushing over to grab her hand. She quickly recognized the voice and feel of his hand, realizing he was who was talking to her earlier. Rossi shook Hotch who was also relieved to see Kit awake and alert.

Kit’s eyelids grew heavy and slipped shut slowly. “Is she okay?” she heard Garcia’s voice from the end of her bed.

“Yes, she’s fine. She’s on a hefty pain killer right now,” Spencer explained.

“Morphine?” Kit heard her own voice this time, not even knowing she was speaking. The room was silent for a beat, and she almost convinced herself she didn’t say anything at all.

“Dilaudid right now,” Hotch answered, putting his hand on her shoulder. Kit nodded a little and relaxed more into the bed.

“Feels funny,” she whispered, turning her head towards Spencer and cracking open her eyes. If anyone here knew what the medication felt like, it was certainly him. She felt bad for making him relive his own memories as he nodded slowly.

“I know. But you’re comfortable, that’s what matters,” he said, brushing her hair out of her face. Her eyes closed again and in seconds she was asleep.

————————————————

Hotch leaned back in his chair as Kit fell back asleep. Everyone relaxed back into their own chairs, but Hotch was wide awake. He _needed_ to know if the bullet that hit her was his own. One of his biggest fears was hurting a member of his own team in the field, and the thought that he may have nearly _killed_ a member was eight times worse.

Rossi glanced over at the head of the BAU, his eyes trailing up and down the man. He noticed the unease that took over his body and shook his head slowly. He had tried to talk to Hotch last night before Garcia’s arrival but none of his words had gotten through to the man.

“Aaron let’s take a walk,” Rossi said, standing with his eyes locked on him. He walked slowly over to the door to make sure he didn’t disturb the sleeping agent in the bed. He pulled open the door and gestured for Aaron to leave first, pulling the door shut behind them. Rossi walked towards the nurse’s desk and smiled as the nurse looked up.

“Is Dr. Huntington still in? We’d like to ask some questions about our agent’s surgery,” he said, pulling out his credentials and flashing them. He wanted to get answers quick, and he knew his status as an FBI agent would get him that.

“Yes sir, I’ll page him now,” the nurse said, smiling and picking up the phone that was next to her. “Dr. Huntington to the ICU, Dr. Huntington to the ICU,” she said over the hospitals intercom system. She turned back to the agents with the same warm smile on her face. “He shouldn’t be too long, he’s quick to respond to our pages.”

Rossi nodded and thanked her before turning and walking towards a set of chairs nearby. Aaron sat down next to him and sighed. “What’s this about, David?”

“You know exactly what this is about. I’ll hunt that bullet down myself if it’ll prove that you did not shoot Kit,” he said, relaxing into his chair. Aaron shook his head and leaned back, but not in relaxation. He was _exhausted,_ and Rossi’s attempt at convincing him of something he knew was a lie wasn’t helping. Deep down, he knew the bullet that came from Kit’s body was one his gun fired.

“Agents Rossi and Hotchner, correct?” Dr. Huntington said, approaching the two males. They stood up and shook his hand, Rossi nodding.

“Please, I’m David and this is Aaron. We were wondering if you still had the bullet you got from our agent or if it was sent to a station for evidence?”

“We sent it to the Reno Police Department for processing,” the doctor answered. “I can tell you it was roughly 9 millimeters,” he finished, recalling the bullet he removed from Katherine.

Aaron fished inside of his pocket and felt his car keys before excusing himself, nearly running to the stairwell. The Reno PD had the bullet, and they could confirm whether or not it was from his gun. David watched as he walked away, assuming he was going to get air. The bullet being 9mm didn’t ease his fears at all, knowing that his gun held bullets of that same size.

Aaron ran down the stairs as fast as his feet could take him. He dialed Garcia’s number, and her voice rang over the other end a moment later. “Sir?”

“Garcia, I need you to meet me by the ER entrance,” he said, opening the door and stepping outside. “I’m going to need your help with this one.” He ended the call and sat on the bench outside, internally groaning at the heat.

About 10 minutes later Garcia walked out of the ER’s entrance and sat down next to her boss. “Sorry, I assumed you didn’t want anyone else following. I told them I was going to check into a hotel,” she said, looking at the man. She was beyond confused but knew better than to question him, so she sat silently beside him.

“A 9mm bullet nearly killed Kit. It may have come from my gun. She’s a federal agent, so they would have rushed the identification of the gun if possible. I need you to get into their system and check,” he added, looking at the woman but avoiding eye contact.

Garcia stiffened as his words sunk in. “Sir, if it was your gun you didn’t intentionally...” she began but a raised hand from her boss stopped her.

“Garcia, please,” he whispered, his voice breaking. He needed to know if he had almost killed his own agent. If she had merely been stabbed, she wouldn’t have nearly bled out in surgery. The stab wound was too shallow to cause any intense bleeding. It was _him_ that may have nearly killed Kit.

He stood slowly from the bench and gestured for Garcia to follow. They walked quietly over to his SUV as the hot Nevada sun beat down on them. Hotch unlocked his car when they were close enough, making sure to start it and run the A/C as soon as possible. Garcia climbed in the passenger side, grimacing at the heat in the car. “Nevada is hot, I don’t know how Spencer did it,” she said. She crinkled her nose and buckled her seat belt noticing that Hotch said nothing.

—————————————————————————

Spencer sat on the side of Katherine, holding her hand tightly as if he were afraid, she would disappear again. The beeping of her heart monitor had become calming to him. It was the easiest way for him to know she was okay. He understood most of the medical vocabulary on a very fundamental basis, but the heart monitor reassured him at all time she was still here.

Garcia’s phone rang, scaring everyone in the room. She apologized and stepped out of the room to answer it. Spencer sighed and tuned his ears back to the steady beeping coming from the screen.

“Spence, you’re going to have to sleep at some point. You haven’t taken your eyes off of her since this morning,” Morgan said, putting his hand on Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer shook his head but said nothing, not wanting to fight with the other very tired man. Garcia came back into the room, giving them some excuse about having to find a hotel. Spencer could hear the lie in her voice, as could the entirety of the BAU members, but one of them said a word.

David returned 10 minutes later, finally understanding where Aaron had gone. He sat back in the chair he had occupied moments before, not bothering to ask about Garcia. He knew Aaron would ask for her help, as she could get into their system easily. He glanced at JJ who was asleep on the couch, a hand laying on her abdomen. He smiled and remembered her news from last night. He grabbed a spare blanket laying on the couch by her feet and draped it over her.

Spencer had dozed off again when he felt a tight squeeze on his hand and the quicker pace of the heart monitor. His eyes flew open and he was standing in no time, immediately recalling his own nightmares on dilaudid. Her eyes were still shut as her hand squeezed his tighter. She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead. A hand rested on her other shoulder, Rossi’s. Spencer squeezed her hand back and leaned closer to her. “Kit wake up. It’s a dream, I promise,” he said, shaking her lightly. He didn’t want to aggravate her injuries, but he knew if she began to flail around in bed, she would hurt herself.

“Is everything okay?” JJ’s sleepy voice called from across the room. She stood up and walked over to the bed, her parental instincts kicking in. She eyed Rossi and began to walk in front of him. Rossi took the hint and stepped back, allowing JJ to lean over Kit. She laid a hand on her shoulder, where Rossi’s was, and shook her gently. “Kit, it’s okay,” she said firmly, waking Kit up.

A scream tore its way up her throat but seemingly got stuck as she tried to sit up. An intense pain singed its way through her abdomen as she looked around wildly. “Hey, it’s JJ. Take a deep breath, you’re safe,” JJ whispered, running her hand through Kit’s hair. Kit looked at her as she slowly registered who it was and sunk back into her pillows.

Her breath was still coming in quick pants, but her heart rate was beginning to slow down to normal. Spencer grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. A nurse knocked on the door and announced it was time for another dose of pain medication, quickly administering it and leaving the room. Kit shook her head looking to Spencer to tell him that something seemed wrong.

“You’re okay, I know the dreams are weird,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. He didn’t want to divulge into his past with the drug after all this time, so he made sure only Kit could hear.

“I know, he gave it to me before you got here,” Kit said, her eyes closing again. Spencer jumped back as if she had burned him and looked up at JJ.

“What? He gave you what?” Spencer sputtered, stepping back from Kit. JJ was the only other one to hear and she looked at Spencer with a confused face.

“What’s wrong? He gave her dilaudid before she got here? Last night?” JJ asked, the timeline not matching up in her head.

“No, they tested her blood it was clean,” Morgan said, standing from his seat. “He was here. Get Hotch on the phone now!” He pressed the nurse’s call button and waited for one to come as Spencer shook Kit lightly.

Spencer tore her file from the end of her bed and flipped it open, looking at the medicine chart. “She got in this room at what, 3 AM? Hotch was in here at 8 AM, followed by the rest of us at 9. It’s 10 AM now, meaning she was given a dose of dilaudid between 3 and 7 AM. The normal dose is .2 to 1 milligram every two to three hours. She would have been given the initial dose at 3 AM, and the limit is 1 milligram. A nurse was in here consistently from 3 to 7 AM,” Spencer froze, doing the calculations in his head. If she was dosed at 7, just before Hotch arrived, and again when they were in the room at 9, and now only an hour later-

An alarm sounded on the machine next to Kit, signaling that her O2 levels were dropping. Spencer looked up in alarm and jumped to the door, opening it and yelling for a doctor. “Spencer! What is going on!” JJ asked, staring at the screen next to her.

“She’s fucking overdosing, he made sure to mess with the timing on the chart, putting time slots when she’d get the next dose when in reality, she shouldn’t have been getting them. Help us!” He yelled down the hallway to the doctor’s running to her room.


	5. Doc I Think She's Crashing Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry this chapter is short and it took me so long to crank out. I'm a sophomore in college and my classes started up on Jan 19th, so that's kept me super busy. My pappy also had surgery on Feb. 9th so I was gone for a few days for that. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter out quicker. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please leave kudos and comments if you feel inspired to, I absolutely love interacting with readers!
> 
> ALSO! If you're a returning reader please go back to the first chapter and read the edit to the timing of this story, it's VERY important!

Spencer’s heart was pounding so hard he was worried it would stop. 

Of course, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He had no underlying conditions and the tachycardia was merely being caused by anxiety. But still, his chest seemed to ache as he stared at the door to the ICU ward. 

Nurses had come running, followed by doctors screaming orders and the need of a crash cart. The team, or at least the ones that remained at the hospital, had been pushed out of Kit’s room quicker than they could comprehend and removed from the ward completely. Hotch had persuaded enough to allow the entire team into her ICU room, but the hallways were off limits for the large group. 

Spencer looked around at the team members that remained. He hadn’t meant to study them as if he was profiling, but he quickly realized he was. 

David Rossi sat with his head in his hands, eyes covered as if he was trying to ignore the fact he was in a hospital right now. Anxiety was easy to spot on him, he was trembling slightly and taking deep breaths more often than he normally did. 

JJ sat to his left, one hand on her stomach nonchalantly and another clenching the arm of the chair. JJ had been the one to wake Kit up from her nightmare but had been one of the last to realize that she had too much of the pain medication in her blood. She was a ghostly shade of white, and Spencer was concerned she’d pass out if she didn’t calm down soon. 

Morgan had left the waiting room a few minutes after being pushed into it, stating he had to call Hotch and tell him what was going on. That was nearly 30 minutes ago, and Spencer knew he had no intentions of waiting with them. He was probably outside walking around and trying to ignore the possible impending death of a teammate. 

\----

Emily Prentiss’s heels clacked painstakingly loud as she practically ran through the hospital to where the rest of her team was waiting. She had volunteered to go back to the police station to try and figure out where they were with finding the son of a bitch that had nearly killed her teammate and when she had finally gotten to her phone around 10:30am with nearly 32 missed calls and 4 voicemails from Morgan, JJ and Rossi. A pit formed in her stomach quickly as she clicked on the oldest message from 10:07am. 

“Emily, it’s Rossi. You need to get over here quick…” There was a pause and Emily heard the panicked yell in the background, someone seeking a crash cart, and her heart dropped. The voicemail ended abruptly, and she quickly clicked the next one from 10:09am. 

“Emily, she’s dying. She might die. He-he was here, and he gave her dilaudid, fucked with her chart. Emily please…” JJ’s quiet voice flooded her ears next. She sounded out of breath, like she had run 6 miles to her phone. 

The next one was from just one minute later. It was Rossi again with an explanation that made as much sense as JJ’s. “It’s Rossi again. Spencer figured it out so fast, it all happened so fast. Call Hotch now, we can’t get a hold of him. He’s with Garcia, try her too…”

She made a mental note to call Garcia after listening to the last voicemail. She clicked the last one, from Morgan, and took a deep breath before hitting play. “Prentiss, call Hotch and Garcia. They’re not answering my calls and Kit may be-... Just get over here fast…” 

She didn’t delete any of the voicemails, and instead forwarded them to Garcia quickly before dialing the computer genius’s number. 

“Garcia, the queen of-” 

“Garcia! Not now, get Hotch’s ass to his goddamn phone. Kit’s been overdosed I think, JJ said something about dilaudid. I heard something about a crash cart in Rossi’s voicemail. I’ve sent them to you. Tell Hotch to answer his fucking-” Emily turned around, coat and bag in hand, only to run straigh into Aaron Hotchner himself. Emily froze for a second before shaking her head. “Garcia, I’ve got him. Go to the hospital please.”

“What’s going on at the hospital?” Hotch said, panic easing into his voice. 

“Come on, I’ll explain in the car. Where the hell is your phone? Morgan said he tried calling you.” 

Hotch reached into his suit pocket quickly and pulled out his phone. “I had it on mute so it wouldn’t wake Kit up. Why do I have so many voicemails?” 

“He was there, I think. No one was really clear, but JJ said she was dying,” Emily explained quickly, pulling herself into the driver's seat of the SUV. Her hands shook so furiously that she missed the ignition twice. 

“Switch me places, I’ll drive,” Hotch said, running around the front of the car. Emily moved, dazed as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She stumbled on her way around the front of the car and put her hand on the hood to steady herself. She desperately tried to get her feet to work, but they were numb and she couldn’t get a grasp on where was placing them. 

Hotch started the car quickly before running to help Emily in the car. Kit hadn’t been a part of the team very long, only three months, but Emily had quickly taken her under her wing. She saw so much of herself in Kit, and Kit had quickly warmed up to Emily faster than anyone else. When Kit had joined the BAU, she was still looking for an apartment in the area, and Emily quickly offered up the guest bedroom in her own apartment for the girl. 

And now there was a startlingly real possibility she was going to lose her.


	6. Some Things You Just Can't Speak About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long each chapter takes to make it out to you guys. I'm in college so it's hard to find time after writing papers and reflections and quizzes to sit down and write anything else. 
> 
> But here's the next chapter, and I really hope you all like it!

Aaron Hotchner ran into the waiting room breathless, Emily Prentiss following closely behind. They were met with the anxious eyes of the team and a doctor. His white lab coat looked messy, with splotches of red and other stains littering it. If it was blood, it was definitely fresh, and Aaron’s heart picked up its pace. 

“That’s Aaron Hotchner, her boss. You’ll be able to tell him details since her own team members don’t apply,” a very angry looking Penelope practically hissed. She had beaten him here by about five minutes, driving faster than she ever had. When she had arrived she berated the surgeon for answers on their teammate but was immediately shut down. 

“Aaron Hotchner,” he said, holding his hand out to the doctor. The man shook it lightly before gesturing his arm to the door. 

“I’ll need to talk to you privately,” the doctor explained. Aaron nodded and began walking back towards the door, the doctor following closely behind him. 

Spencer stood up almost as a reflex, and Morgan’s eyes flashed to him. He sat back down wordlessly and began wringing his hands together. He kept trying to estimate the probability that they had caught the overdose with enough time to save her, but he wasn’t sure how much exactly Michael had given her. The chart on her bed signified a normal dose in case anyone had checked it, but judging by the nurse tipping her over the edge it went unnoticed. But why would he risk that? If a nurse had checked it before administering she wouldn’t have been overdosed on the Dilaudid. “Has anyone seen the nurse since she gave Kit the other dose?” Spencer whispered into the quiet room. 

“What?” JJ’s voice came from the other side of the room. 

“The nurse that gave Kit her last dose of Dilaudid. She didn’t check her chart beforehand, just administered it and left. Michael filled out the chart when he administered a dose earlier this morning, which is a risky move. If any other nurse would have looked they wouldn’t have given her any,” Spencer explained, getting cut off by Rossi sitting up in the crackly plastic chair. 

“That wasn’t a nurse,” Rossi finished, quickly pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. “Spencer, you saw her and will have the clearest memory of her out of any of us. Write down a description.” Spencer nodded and took the pen and paper from him just as Hotch came back into the room. He looked around at the team members in the room before his eyes settled on JJ. 

“Jennifer, Emily, can I talk to you two in the hallway for a second?” Hotch said, and Spencer noticed that his voice sounded tense. 

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked, standing up and looking at Hotch with pleading eyes. He needed to know what happened, he needed to know if there was still time. But Hotch said nothing, instead letting the two women pass him and walking out into the hallway out of earshot. 

JJ knew that sound in his voice, because it was the same tone he used anytime he was upset about something. He had mainly heard it after Haley’s death, but it was a tone so different from his normal voice that it was easy to pick up on. She looked at Emily as they walked down a hallway, following their boss, and Emily shrugged. 

The team sat in relative silence for approximately 8 minutes and 23 seconds before JJ returned alone. Tears sat in her eyes, and as one dropped and slid across her cheek, Spencer felt his heart stop. 

“The dose was too much for her body to handle. I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Spencer felt his head get hot and his hearing cut off. His heart felt like it was breaking, the pain in his chest taking over every one of his senses. A hand was on his back, but he couldn’t hear any of the words the person was saying. 

“Spencer? Spence?” JJ’s panicked voice shouted at him. She watched as his knees gave out and he fell to the ground, JJ unable to hold him up by herself. Morgan dove to him, catching him before his head could hit anything. Spencer was still conscious, the only fact that was keeping JJ from absolutely panicking. 

She looked back to see Hotch rounding the corner, quickly setting his eyes on Spencer on the floor. The older man wasted no time rushing over to the youngest team member and dropped to his knee. “Reid, I need you to talk to me. What’s wrong?” Hotch shouted, the first voice to break through the ringing in his ears. Spencer’s eyes lazily flashed up to Hotch’s and tears gathered. 

“I loved her,” Spencer whispered. To the rest of the team it sounded slurred, but Spencer couldn’t feel his lips anymore let alone hear anything he was saying. Garcia returned with several nurses and a bottle of water, quickly making him sip on it. 

“Mr. Reid, can you hear me?” A nurse asked, bending down and moving JJ away from him. JJ turned and walked out into the hallway, breathing heavily as tears gathered in her eyes. She was aware of someone behind her, but wasn’t expecting it to be Hotch. Her heart hammered in her chest and she swallowed the saliva building in her mouth at the brief wave of nausea overpowering her. 

“Jennifer…” Hotch trailed off, a hand on the woman’s shoulder squeezing gently.

“You realize what you’re asking me to do, right? Lie to the entire team that she’s dead? After everything that happened with Emily?” Jennifer whips around, anger coursing through her. 

“I’m sorry, Jennifer. We have no choice. After what happened this morning it’s best to put her into WITSEC until we catch the guy,” Hotch whispers, making sure no hospital staff are around them. The last thing he would want to do is jeopardize Kit’s safety again. “You’ll know where she is, just like you did with Emily. You can keep in contact however you two see fit.” 

Jennifer shook her head and turned to walk back into the room with everyone else with Hotch following close behind. 

And Michael, peering from around the corner, knew exactly what he had to do next. 


End file.
